Stop Gym selfies 

I can’t stand seeing work-out selfies. The first couple times you post them—is allowed and understood. It’s awesome that you are working out and eating healthy and give a shit about your health. Like that’s cool. And good for you for making a change to better yourself and your life. I’m all about that!

But, by the 10th selfie… I’m annoyed. I don’t give a shit anymore about what your body looks like and I’m considering unfollowing you.  And by the 15th post,  I’m beginning to think you are possibly narsacistic—self centered, attention starving—and living in your own world.   Like there is only so much of your body that I care to see.  I get it.. You look good! Now, please stop fucking bragging about it and move on. 

Here:   

This is my belly selfie.  I don’t work out at all and I have about a thousand stretch marks from carrying two babies. (Although, I prefer to tell people I got into a bear fight and won).  #bearfight.  

Either way if I posted pictures of my body (in shape or not)— everyday!?  You would get annoyed too.   And after the 15th post you would be thinking, “We get it– you have a bunch of scars and are self conscious– get over it.” 

So please stop the gym selfies. Otherwise I’m going to start harassing your Instagram and facebook feeds with my scars and blinding white skin. 

~ g

Chopped. Not the show. 

In the beginning, there was anticipation and my double chin. 

  
And then, that bubbling feeling inside.  What the fuck am I doing. 

  
 I’m chopping my hair off.  

 
In the end,  my new badass self was formed. This is my #imabadassselfie 

  
~ g

#BigBarrelBlowme

Okay seriously, don’t ever buy a big barrel curling iron, because if your name is Georgia–that shit won’t work.  And you’ll end up making faces like this one:

Pissed off.

Pissed off.

Here I am clearly pissed off, with my brand-new fifty-dollar big-ass-barrel curling iron.  And I’m pissed because, this is what I get:

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This is not a fucking curl.  I would say it might be a curve. MIGHT be. And Some of you might be wondering– “does this chick even know how to curl her hair?”  The answer is–yes I do.  Yes, I held the curling iron in the right amount of time.  Yes, I even rolled it up the right way.

And yes, I even tried taking a smaller strand.  See:

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But nope. Nothing. No curl.  And yes, I even watched a youtube video to make sure I wasn’t a dumbass! And hey, guess what?  Not a dumbass.  I started getting borderline depressed, so I went back to my shitty smaller barrel curling iron.

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And this is what my smaller shitty curling iron gave me:

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Better, but still not a curl.  At least, not the curl I’m going for anyways.

Now there is only one more option. One more solution. One last hope for a decent hair duo. But it’s time-consuming, old-school, and tedious.

I got out my reserves.

My hair curlers.

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Ugh.

And as I slowly started taking them out…

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What the fuck is that?

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Uhhhh….

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I look like a fucking idiot.

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Worst hair day. Ever.

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Actual tears.

Sooo– I obviously had to brush that shit out.  2 curling irons, 1 set of hair curlers, and 2 hours later…

This was my hair duo for the night.

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#HairFail

Oh and one last side note.

I put my hair in a bun when I went to bed and woke up the next morning to this:

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